A chapter on confession...

     I am still working through the Paul Tripp book "What Did You Expect??", a book on marriage.  I just finished the chapter called "Coming Clean:  Confession" and I almost underlined the whole chapter.  I have seen this over and over in the office counseling couples.  Here a just a few nuggets from this chapter.

"Confession is the doorway to growth and change in your relationship."

"One of the most tempting fallacies for us--and for every human being in this fallen world--is to believe that our greatest problems exist outside us rather than inside us."

"When a husband and wife quit arguing about who is the more righteous and begin to be grieved over their respective sin, you can know for sure that grace has visited their marriage."

"Remember, truth not spoken in love ceases to be helpful because the message gets twisted and distorted by other human emotions and agendas."

"It means quieting that background noise of our inner defense system."

     That last one is the one that I have seen so many times or have tried to put into motion in the office with so many of those counseling situations.  There is a huge problem in the room and each think the other is it.  Words start flying and fingers start pointing and if I can get one of them to stop looking at the other and look at themselves instead I know I am getting somewhere.  To do that, that person has to decide not to fight back and take the criticism and really see it as something that could be possible and corrected.  It also puts that person not so much to be made right in front of the other person but right in the sight of God.  We so much want to fight back but if we can not do that and really listen we might come to a deeper relationship with God which could lead to a deeper relationship with our spouse.  The whole point is getting someone to start that process.  Are you willing to make yourself vulnerable to God in the presence of others?  Now real change can happen, transformation to be more as God wants you to be.

     Sunday sermon is not completed yet but I hope to have some time at the market with Stephanie tomorrow to complete the task.  I have had some big ideas and illustrations running around in my head but I haven't figured how to present them.  One is the relationship between John the Baptist and Jesus and another is just the word "repent."  Maybe the different environment will help me.

Adam